land, err, a place to put monkey water has been spotted! the monkey's have a new home! thanks to the gracious generosity of e's son, d, the monkeys will soon be enjoying a nice roomy biodome. the little tank needs a cleaning and then i will be ready to birth my monkeys. you can't wait! i figure i will get the monkeys settled this weekend (unless i am too lazy and then it's too bad for them), and by the time you all come down off your candy high, you will be able to read all about it.
until then...
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
in the meantime...
the sea-monkeys have gone missing, that is to say, they are currently under a pile of miscellaneous goods and services on one of the arm chairs in the living room. i am told they are enjoying their quiet time, using their hiatus to reflect on their upcoming metamorphosis. soon they will blossom, like so many butterfly, living out their days in the wilds of whatever jar i find to put them in.
i did look for a jar when i went to burlington coat factory to use my $10 off $10 coupon, but their selection was limited. unless you were looking for real leather shellacked giraffe statues, because there were herds of them, HERDS i tell you! (and yes, i did kind of want to buy one to accompany the large metal zebra we have on top of our t.v. breakfront. and yes, our t.v. lives in a breakfront normally reserved for objects of the dish kind.) and, sidebar to my digression - what is up with all the african animal figurines lately that have their heads turned toward their back, as if possessed by the devil? why can't they face forward like all the other animal statues? this is not a phenomenon specific to burlington, either. i have seen this trend in several home goods shops this season. just saying.
so, sea-monkeys. they are alive (in a powdery statis form) and well, and waiting. in addition to searching for their home, i have communed with the universe and divined more of their backstory (i.e., made things up while waiting in line at chipotle). as i mentioned before, they have flown in space. (it says so on the packaging, so it has to be true, right?) so technically, they are space-monkeys, yes? i see their new life with me as a continuation of their peripatetic adventures. (unless i kill them. then it will be an end to their peripatetic-ing, but we won't go there.) they probably will think they have landed on a new planet (where lands are green and skys are blue*) and, as such, their new home will need to accomodate their specific watery needs. much like astronauts inhabiting a biodome on a foreign planet, the space-monkeys will require their own life-sustaining compound. i name it, the candelarium. (thank you to shannon for that delightful title.)
i will continue the search for the candelarium and return to blog of my triumphs. stay tuned...
*that was totally a callback to the title of the blog. it just had to be done.
 |
| this is not one of the possessed statues. |
so, sea-monkeys. they are alive (in a powdery statis form) and well, and waiting. in addition to searching for their home, i have communed with the universe and divined more of their backstory (i.e., made things up while waiting in line at chipotle). as i mentioned before, they have flown in space. (it says so on the packaging, so it has to be true, right?) so technically, they are space-monkeys, yes? i see their new life with me as a continuation of their peripatetic adventures. (unless i kill them. then it will be an end to their peripatetic-ing, but we won't go there.) they probably will think they have landed on a new planet (where lands are green and skys are blue*) and, as such, their new home will need to accomodate their specific watery needs. much like astronauts inhabiting a biodome on a foreign planet, the space-monkeys will require their own life-sustaining compound. i name it, the candelarium. (thank you to shannon for that delightful title.)
i will continue the search for the candelarium and return to blog of my triumphs. stay tuned...
*that was totally a callback to the title of the blog. it just had to be done.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
it's all beginning
sea-monkeys®. i'd always heard about them, but never encountered one, much less grown any. what are they? are they really monkeys? are they alive? do they do anything?
now, i can't tell you the number of random, pointless questions that pop into my head during my waking hours, (as mark and my co-workers can attest) but one day at work about 10 months ago, and i have no recollection as to what prompted it, my brain shouted "sea-monkeys... discuss!" and so i did.. one of my co-workers, E, had actually had sea-monkeys as a child. a first-person account - score! since it was so long ago, i only sort of remember that she said she grew them, and then they died. having more questions, and needing to see them for myself, i then googled, as i am wont to do, and subsequently declared i wanted sea-monkeys for my very own.
Christmas rolled around a few weeks later, and guess what santa E brought me? sea-monkeys! i promptly announced my intention of growing them at work, but T, my boss, being the level-headed person that she is, suggested it might not be the greatest of ideas.. how would it be phoning IT to tell them that my computer died because i spilled my sea-monkeys on it (which, let's be honest, would probably happen to me)? so, i put my sea-monkeys in a drawer, intending to take them home, and then... i forgot about them.
10 months later, again, randomly, i contracted sea-monkey brain, and only then did i remember i had a whole colony just waiting for me to grow and nourish it! how could i do that to those poor innocent creatures! i promised the monkeys i would take them home and give them the love they never had. and i also promised to blog our adventures, because they deserve to be famous.
***********
now, maybe you have all the same questions i had when i first turned my attention to these water apes. what do they do? they frolic! what are they for? my mother asked this question, and i said "fun." that's really all you need to know. "are they like a chia-pet?" she asked? "sure," i said. (the cell reception was acting up and after shouting "SEA-MONKEYS!!!" four times when i tried to tell her what i was growing, i didn't have the energy to explain. i told her she could read my blog.) and the big question: what are they? brine shrimp. "is that all? that's really lame, christine." well, according to the official sea-monkey's packaging, they are "a miracle of nature." you know what else is a miracle of nature? birth. so suck it, haters. also, here are my miracle of nature choices.. i can either grow a parasite inside of me, making me sick and hormonal for 9 months, then there's a lot of screaming and fluids, and 18 (at least) years of child-rearing. or, i can put some powder in a jar of water. and flush it down the toilet when i get bored. which do you think sounds easier?
plus, i haven't even told you yet, but sea-monkeys have been flown in outer space! when has your miracle of nature done that? and, they are "so easy to keep, even a smart 6-year old can raise them." so i'm pretty sure i can probably do it. (how smart are we talking? would a smart 6-year old eat a piece of cheese that fell on the kitchen floor? would they burn their forehead with their flat iron? would they eat too much olive garden takeout even though they KNOW they will get a tummyache? if not, i might be in trouble.) anyhow, if it doesn't work out for us, there's a 2-year guarantee. it states, "if you need to start over for any reason, we will replace [the monkeys]... free!" START OVER! FOR ANY REASON! what other miracle of nature option gives you a ctrl+z? and for free - what a deal! (or, i can just flush them down the toilet when i get bored.)
also, check out the company's mission statement: Our mission is to raise the planet's Kindness Quotient and Sea-Monkeys® are the catalyst. Raise just one Sea-Monkey® family and you will be a believer... a nice & kind one!
whaaaattt! you guys, i'm totally going to do my part to help society!
i was going to do some other research about how sea-monkeys can "live" in their pouch for years before coming alive, what you put them in and how you take care of them, etc. but i'm all typed out right now. and pictures, i was going to do some pictures. well, all that is coming (or, let's just be honest, only whatever i actually feel like doing), so stay tuned!
next time on Christine's Sea-Monkeys® Adventures... my monkey habitat (will probably just be a glass jar) and surrounding environs (i'm thinking one of the living room window-sills), and possibly the birth of a new nation (omg, what should i call it, you guys)!
now, i can't tell you the number of random, pointless questions that pop into my head during my waking hours, (as mark and my co-workers can attest) but one day at work about 10 months ago, and i have no recollection as to what prompted it, my brain shouted "sea-monkeys... discuss!" and so i did.. one of my co-workers, E, had actually had sea-monkeys as a child. a first-person account - score! since it was so long ago, i only sort of remember that she said she grew them, and then they died. having more questions, and needing to see them for myself, i then googled, as i am wont to do, and subsequently declared i wanted sea-monkeys for my very own.
Christmas rolled around a few weeks later, and guess what santa E brought me? sea-monkeys! i promptly announced my intention of growing them at work, but T, my boss, being the level-headed person that she is, suggested it might not be the greatest of ideas.. how would it be phoning IT to tell them that my computer died because i spilled my sea-monkeys on it (which, let's be honest, would probably happen to me)? so, i put my sea-monkeys in a drawer, intending to take them home, and then... i forgot about them.
10 months later, again, randomly, i contracted sea-monkey brain, and only then did i remember i had a whole colony just waiting for me to grow and nourish it! how could i do that to those poor innocent creatures! i promised the monkeys i would take them home and give them the love they never had. and i also promised to blog our adventures, because they deserve to be famous.
***********
now, maybe you have all the same questions i had when i first turned my attention to these water apes. what do they do? they frolic! what are they for? my mother asked this question, and i said "fun." that's really all you need to know. "are they like a chia-pet?" she asked? "sure," i said. (the cell reception was acting up and after shouting "SEA-MONKEYS!!!" four times when i tried to tell her what i was growing, i didn't have the energy to explain. i told her she could read my blog.) and the big question: what are they? brine shrimp. "is that all? that's really lame, christine." well, according to the official sea-monkey's packaging, they are "a miracle of nature." you know what else is a miracle of nature? birth. so suck it, haters. also, here are my miracle of nature choices.. i can either grow a parasite inside of me, making me sick and hormonal for 9 months, then there's a lot of screaming and fluids, and 18 (at least) years of child-rearing. or, i can put some powder in a jar of water. and flush it down the toilet when i get bored. which do you think sounds easier?
plus, i haven't even told you yet, but sea-monkeys have been flown in outer space! when has your miracle of nature done that? and, they are "so easy to keep, even a smart 6-year old can raise them." so i'm pretty sure i can probably do it. (how smart are we talking? would a smart 6-year old eat a piece of cheese that fell on the kitchen floor? would they burn their forehead with their flat iron? would they eat too much olive garden takeout even though they KNOW they will get a tummyache? if not, i might be in trouble.) anyhow, if it doesn't work out for us, there's a 2-year guarantee. it states, "if you need to start over for any reason, we will replace [the monkeys]... free!" START OVER! FOR ANY REASON! what other miracle of nature option gives you a ctrl+z? and for free - what a deal! (or, i can just flush them down the toilet when i get bored.)
also, check out the company's mission statement: Our mission is to raise the planet's Kindness Quotient and Sea-Monkeys® are the catalyst. Raise just one Sea-Monkey® family and you will be a believer... a nice & kind one!
whaaaattt! you guys, i'm totally going to do my part to help society!
i was going to do some other research about how sea-monkeys can "live" in their pouch for years before coming alive, what you put them in and how you take care of them, etc. but i'm all typed out right now. and pictures, i was going to do some pictures. well, all that is coming (or, let's just be honest, only whatever i actually feel like doing), so stay tuned!
next time on Christine's Sea-Monkeys® Adventures... my monkey habitat (will probably just be a glass jar) and surrounding environs (i'm thinking one of the living room window-sills), and possibly the birth of a new nation (omg, what should i call it, you guys)!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)